INTRODUCTION

Are you a control freak? Do you like to be in control? You plan and over plan and have every little detail worked out to its minutia? You don’t feel like you’re complete until you have a contingency for every possible scenario? Some people are control freaks. Some are control freaks in the sense that they just like power and like to be in control. While others, just like to be well prepared and have everything well thought out. These types of people might be commonly referred to as OCD; though you know of course if they are truly OCD they have to put the letters in alphabetical order so to them it’s CDO. Some people just like to have it together to the extreme. They like to be excessively organized; have every eye dotted and t crossed, and they’ve triple-checked just to make sure. I’m not saying that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, but sometimes it can be a bit excessive. But no matter where you fall in this—you’re a control freak, kind of OCD, or to you the devil is in the details, I think there’s a bit of control freak in all of us.

If I were honest I’d say I’m probably in the middle somewhere—some things I’m really picky about getting them right, while in other things I’m kind of a “wing it” type of guy. But as I said, I think there’s some control freak in all of us. For me, one thing that I’m just really picky about is being on time. I love to be on time. And for me, 1 minute early doesn’t really cut it. If I tell you we’re going to meet for coffee at 10:00 am, I’m usually in the parking lot getting out of my car at 9:55. If my wife and I determine that on Saturday we’re going to leave to take the kids to the park at 3:00 in the afternoon, and it’s 3:05 and we’re not loading up yet, I am going to get kind of restless—even though we’re just going to the park and we’re not meeting anyone and it really doesn’t matter when we get there, I’m going to be a little restless if we don’t leave when we said we’d leave. Can anyone relate to that—you’re a control freak when it comes to time? We like to be in control.

Control is important in our spiritual lives as well. There are certain parts of our spiritual lives that we ought to control, in fact, we could go so far as to say that we must control. You can probably think of several areas in our spiritual lives where control is an important quality to maintain, but we’re going to continue talking about one specifically this morning—our speech. Our tongues. Controlling our tongues is an important part of our spiritual lives. The problem is, though we may be control freaks in certain areas of our lives, how we use our speech usually isn’t one of them. In fact, very often it’s just the opposite. We can be very loose and careless with our tongues. Without even trying to do so we can let our tongues control us and lead us down a path we never intended to go.

Have you ever done that? Have you ever let your tongue control you instead of you control your tongue? It’s so easy to do this! Perhaps without even thinking of it, we say that unkind thought that was on our minds—like we had no filter what we thought just popped right out and we wish we could catch those words and put them back in but it’s too late. Or maybe for you, it’s something like your anger or temper getting the best of you, and before you even realize it you’re blowing up at your spouse, the kids, your boss, or the guy who pulled out in front of you in the Walmart parking lot. Maybe it’s something like sharing something about someone else, you didn’t mean to gossip but you just had trouble stopping yourself when it came to sharing what you heard. It could be something like controlling what you should have said but didn’t—someone comes to talk to you about this person or complain about this, that, and the other thing and you wanted to tell them that this isn’t right, but for some reason you just kept quiet. Or you know you should have stood up for truth and justice in a certain situation, and everything inside told you that you should have spoken up, but you didn’t. It could even stem into the realm of social media—what you write or what you post can get out of control as well. These types of situations I’m sure sound all too familiar! Instead of controlling our tongues, we can very easily allow our tongues to control us. So what’s the solution for us? Is there any hope for those who struggle with the tongue?

God has written a book that speaks to all of our problems. And our passage today addresses this tendency that we all have, and the weakness we are prone to display in our speech. As we open and unpack our passage today, there’s one bottom line I think we learn from this passage, and this is the big idea for this morning:

Big Idea: if you don’t control your tongue, it will control you!

James 3:5b–8 NASB95

And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.

Big Idea: if you don’t control your tongue, it will control you!

Interrogative: why is the tongue such an important part of our bodies to control?

Since too often it controls us, perhaps we don’t really grasp the importance of this member, and so our text tells us why it is such and important part to control.

Transition: today we learn three Reasons why we must control our tongue before it controls us:

1) The tongue is destructive without God’s control

Explanation: First of all, the tongue is destructive without God’s control. Boys and girls, you can draw a fire and the damage it can cause. James opens this section in the second half of verse 5. He changes themes here in the middle of the verse. Last week we saw the focus on small things controlling big things. Right in the middle of the verse James changes metaphors.  He goes from the theme of small things controlling big things to the illustration of fire. Look what he says: See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! He uses the illustration of fire to demonstrate how the poison of the tongue spreads so easily.

Illustration: Let’s focus on that comparison—like a fire. This is perhaps an illustration we all can understand. James talks on a large scale here—a little fire can set a whole forest on fire. Actually, the word used here isn’t the word for forest, it’s simply the word for wood. They didn’t really have forests in Israel; they did have bushes and trees that grew—perhaps he had in mind the bush that grew along the hills which would get really dry in their climate and could easily catch fire. Imagine a hillside of those bramble bushes catching on fire! Whatever the case, we understand this illustration. We have forest fires in our world today. Places like California and Canada other locations out west are prone to forest fires, and we’ve all perhaps seen pictures and videos of these fires engulfing portions of huge forests, and even this summer we saw and smelled the smoke from fires up north. It only takes one spark to start the blaze. If you’ve ever started a campfire you can understand this as well. You get some nice dry kindling and good dried out wood—it only takes on tiny little spark to start things ablaze and consume the entire pile of wood.

Application: it’s the same way in our spiritual lives. It only takes one issue with our speech to send things up in flames. One unkind word; one angry response; one word of gossip; one instance of not speaking when we should, and the next time the situation comes up it’s much, much easier to give in. And before we even know it, things can get completely out of hand. Relationships are destroyed; friendships ruined; and families split. It can happen so easily!

This is just as true in the church as well.  One small little remark, an unkind comment, a word of gossip, a whisper in the corner, can set the whole place ablaze! James gives us a much-needed caution here. And as you read his words here, you come to realize firsthand, if you don’t control your tongue, it will control you! We need to come to a right realization about our tongue—our tongue without God’s control is destructive! It destroys, like a fire that starts and you can’t put it out.

2) The tongue is defiling without God’s control

Explanation: not only is the tongue destructive without God’s control, it is also defiling without God’s control. When we let our tongues go, and they are not controlled by the power of the spirit, they can easily defile or corrupt. The tongue has a defiling capability in our lives. Even though it’s such a small part, it can corrupt our entire being! Look at verses 6-7. Not only is the tongue a fire, but James calls it a world of iniquity. It is one large sin factory! Notice three truths here about the defilement of the tongue—there are three participles in this section each teaching us about the defilement of the tongue:

a. It can corrupt an entire person

Explanation: look at what James says: the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body. Interesting words here—the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles. What does that mean? The actual word for “set” means to appoint or put in charge. A better translation here could be the tongue appoints itself among our members as that which defiles. The setting up or appointing here is being done by the tongue itself. Doesn’t that get the picture of the tongue just right? It raises itself up. If we don’t control it, it will control us. It’s almost as if the tongue has a mind of its own! James says the tongue sets itself up among our members and defiles the whole body.

Application: boy is that the truth! Lives can be ruined with just a few words. James teaches that the tongue can corrupt an entire person, and it’s a comprehensive defilement. And this is so true. People are marked by how they use their tongues. You know, generally speaking, who the gossipers are. Who the harsh or cruel people are. Who the bitter people are who lash out with their tongues. It can corrupt an entire person, and it’s usually no surprise because we’ve seen it before and we’ll see it again from a person.

Sad to say, this type of corruption often appears in the church! And many times we know who the people are—we’ve seen them throw their temper tantrums in unspirituality or we’ve experienced their whispering about someone or something—we’ve seen them hide in the corners and spew their poison. Yet we just let them go. Maybe we mark them and stay away from them—Scripture does talk about marking those who cause division, and bad speech certainly does that. But nobody ever bothers to confront these people and point out their sin in a Matthew 18 type of way—going to them personally. And so we have these people—corrupt people, whose whole person is defiled, but they are just left to live in that condition without anyone bringing the word of God to bear on their lives! 

Those types of things destroy churches. I would submit to you that this is an incredibly unloving way to live—to live someone continue in their sin and just kind of avoid, walk around them, be careful around them because they might blow up or get upset about something. These types of things, if they’re let go long enough, end up destroying churches! We don’t do ourselves any favors by not dealing with these types of things. The tongue can corrupt an entire person!   

b. It can alter an entire life

Explanation: it’s also a lifelong defilement—it can alter an entire life. James says it sets on fire the course of our life. The word for course is actually the Greek word for wheel. It’s the same used in the Septuagint—the Greek translation of the OT for the wheel Ezekiel saw in his vision. It’s the idea of the whole course or we could say the circle of life—from birth to death, the tongue has the power to destroy everything! If you aren’t careful, it will destroy you entirely. It destroys the entire course of your life—your life will be entirely marked by your uncontrolled tongue. If you don’t control your tongue, and you let it out of your control, pretty soon it’s gone! There is no holding it back. Lives have been damaged by the tongue. Lifelong friendships are ruined instantly by the tongue. Marriages and families torn apart. People will not trust you if you spread gossip. People will not follow you or respect you if you’re known for corrupt speech. Our speech is not just a one-time act. It has ongoing effects, and James says it destroys the course of our life!

c. It can destroy an entire future

Explanation: the defilement of the tongue is a comprehensive defilement, it can destroy an entire person, and entire life and James also says an entire future. James says the fire of the tongue is set on fire of hell. The Greek word here for hell is the word for Gehenna. Gehenna was a place outside the walls of Jerusalem in the Valley of Hinnom. It was originally where wicked kings sacrificed children to Molech, but eventually became more or less a burn pile–there was a constant burning of rubbish there, and Jesus often referred to this to talk about judgment and destruction.

Application: James makes it very clear—the tongue leads us only to destruction! When the tongue controls us instead of us controlling the tongue, there is no stopping it! Some see these three statements about defilement as a downward spiral. The tongue, when left unchecked, leads to a corrupt body, which leads to a corrupt life which leads to ultimate destruction. What James is saying here is very clear: your tongue has power! And if you don’t control your tongue, it will control you!

Explanation: James continues with an object lesson.  Look at it in the text: For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. It’s a very simple illustration. Animals can be tamed; but the tongue cannot be tamed. It is wild and unruly, and needs to be controlled, and if you don’t control it, it will get away from you.

Illustration: some of you know I like fishing. I don’t really enjoy fishing around here, at least not as much as other places. I grew up in an area with all kinds of streams and rivers, and we did a lot of trout fishing; we didn’t have near as many lakes. But one thing we would do every year is we would go to the beach—I don’t mean the dump truck load of sand next to a lake like we have in Minnesota—that’s not a beach, I mean a real beach. We would go to Cape Henlopen in Lewis, Delaware, and one of the highlights was fishing in the ocean from the pier. We would go out in the evening and spend several hours fishing off of the pier. I liked it because it was different—you used ocean rigs and fished with squid, and there was such a variety of fish that you never knew what you were going to catch. But every so often you would catch a skate. Now a skate is kind of like a ray—it’s in that family, but if you caught a skate you were most likely not going to get it in. They have powerful pectoral fins and they are much stronger swimmers than some of the normal fish you would catch, so they would just take your line out until it ripped. You would know you had one because you would feel a tug on your line and you would pull and it would just be solid. And you would hear the spinning “zzzzz” sound of the drag on your line as it took your line out, and you either would have to let it take all your line, or give it a yank and break the line. If you got a skate on, unless you were using special equipment, it would just take your line out and there was no stopping it.

Application: in a way, this is what our tongues are like. Give it an inch and it will take a mile. Let it out of your control and it will be like that skate—just taking line out. Our tongue, if we don’t keep it in check, will just keep getting away from us and getting away from us until it leads to destruction. If you don’t control your tongue, it will control you!

3) The tongue is deadly without God’s control

Explanation: Our text today gives us three realities about the tongue that show us the importance of controlling our tongue before it controls us. The tongue is destructive without God’s control, it is defiling without God’s control, and finally, it is deadly without God’s control.  And as we pick up in verse 8 James continues this imagery of an animal that cannot be tamed—But the tongue no man is able to tame, it is a restless evil full of deadly poison. Boys and girls, you can draw a picture of a poisonous snake. Here James tells us the true nature of the tongue—it is untamable. It is an animal that cannot be tamed, and it leads to death.

Illustration: humans are remarkable creatures. We’ve been able to tame so many of God’s species! I remember on one of our trips to Rapid City, SD, making a visit to a place called Bear Country USA. Bear Country is a drive-through wildlife park. You can drive through and have all sorts of animals come right up to your care. Elk, big horn sheep; deer; wolves; but the highlight are the bears. Now these are still wild animals, but they have been tamed enough that you can drive right next to them. You can drive through a part of the park where there are dozens of bears walking right by your car. You have to stay inside and keep your window up, but you can look right out and see a bear face to face. It’s incredible! Animals so strong and powerful yet mankind has been able to tame them.

Explanation: but there’s one wild animal of sorts that men cannot tame—the tongue. James so no man can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil full of deadly poison. Restless is the same word used in 1:8 of a double-minded man—it’s the idea of being unstable. The tongue is unstable—you never know what it’s gonna do! Like a serpent poised to strike, you cannot trust the tongue. This imagery of the serpent fits because James describes the tongue as full of deadly poison. Like a venomous snake spreads its venom in one quick bite, so the tongue spreads its poison.

Application: and it is poisonous indeed! This poison of the tongue often spreads through the church. As a pastor, I have seen firsthand how the dreadful poison of the tongue can cause great damage to individuals, families, and entire churches. I’ve seen friends turn into enemies instantly just by a few words. I’ve seen disunity and dissension take place over just a few words of gossip or the spread of information in an unbiblical manner. A loose tongue in the church is like having a hungry lion or loose snake in your Sunday service—how would you like that? Too often those things are present in the individual lives of believers as well as the body of Christ, and it is a powerful force that causes division! So James reminds us:

Big Idea: if you don’t control your tongue, it will control you!

CONCLUSION

As we close this morning, I’d like to think about this one important question: what hope is there if no human can control the tongue? If our tongue is this bad, what hope do we have? If the tongue is destructive without God, defiling without God, and deadly without God, what can we do about it? The solution then, is we desperately need God! The hope for a people incapable of dealing completely with their sin problem is Jesus. The hope is the Gospel of Christ!  The hope is that while we were yet sinners—corrupt by our speech and everything else in our lives, while we were sinners Christ died for us! So we need to run to Christ because He died to take care of our sin problem. He died to set us free from the power of our tongues. He died so that even when we fail—when we mess up, He could still love us and wrap His arms around us and tell us that He still loves us! He made provision for us—even for our own failing tongues! I like to tell people God knew you were going to be messy when He saved you. You don’t take Him by surprise, and He made provision for your mistakes! The solution to the hopelessness of our tongues is to find the hope that is only available in Jesus!

Maybe you’re here and you’re struggling with this and you just don’t know how to stop. The temptation to use your tongue in a negative way is too great—you say I want to stop but I can’t. I want to do better but I can’t. For you, you need to believe the truths of God’s word.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NASB95)

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

Many times we know what we need to do spiritually but we just don’t believe that we can. That’s a lie from Satan. See the chart above—comparing God’s promises and Satan’s lies. I just used this with someone this week—great reminder that when we think we can’t, God says we can. (go over chart). We do have the power to control the tongue, but only with God’s help. We can control the tongue, but if we don’t it will control us.  

Let me say a word to someone who may be here today who finds themselves in this passage. You’ve been struggling with your speech, and its destroying you and those around you. And you recognize that. Often times there’s a huge wake, and those around can often see—a path of self-destruction, like a hurricane, you just are on a path of destruction and it keeps picking up speed. Maybe you don’t even realize it—you might have the tendency to hear a text like this and focus on someone else and what they did or what they said–“boy I hope they’re listening today, they really need to hear this!” Not a spiritual thing to do. But if you recognize you’re on this path and you don’t know how to stop it, there is hope for you too. It might not be easy, and you’re going to have to put forth some effort to stop it, but you can with the help of Jesus. And let me just speak to you directly, that if you’re on this type of path of destruction, you need to get some help. Help won’t come from your therapist or psychology or self-help material, help for our tongues will only come from God and the truth of his word. So if you see yourself in this text, can I ask you—would you just reach out for help? I would love to meet with you and show you how the Bible can correct your pathway of destruction and bring healing in your life. Would you reach out and just ask for help; maybe you need some counseling sessions—I do that and I love to do that. So if you or anyone you know is really struggling here, don’t struggle alone; reach out and find help, and I would love to guide you into what the Bible says about how Jesus can help you in this area.  

NEXT STEPS

We opened today by talking about control freaks and how there’s likely a control freak in each one of us at some level and in certain situations. Sometimes we just like to be in control!

Our tongues like to be in control as well, and James reminds us: if we don’t control our tongues, our tongues will control us! What would this text look like if we lived it out in our day-to-day lives? What changes would it make? Well, we would not longer let our tongues control us; instead, we would control our tongues, and not really us, the Gospel of Christ flowing through us. But what might this look like:

•     Perhaps now we think before we say that unkind thought that was on our minds—we don’t have to cram it back into our mouths because it never came out.

•     Or maybe we would respond differently when we feel like blowing up at our spouse, or the kids, or boss, or the guy who pulled out in front of you in the Walmart parking lot.

•     Maybe when you feel like sharing something about someone else that you don’t have their knowledge or consent to share, you’re going to keep it inside.

•     It could be something like controlling what you should have said but didn’t—you’re going to stop that person dead in their tracks when they come to gossip or complain to you about this or that or the other thing.

•     Or now you do stand up for truth and justice in a certain situation when before you would have tended toward silence.

•     Or in the realm of things like social media: maybe you need to read through an entire post before you share it, or think before you blast off a response to someone who said something that upset you. Perhaps some things are better said in person rather than as a rant on social media.

In short, this text should cause us to do a 180-degree turn from how we are used to responding with our speech. Why? Because now instead of just spouting off without taking a moment to think, we are running to Jesus to help us control our speech. That’s how this text should change us this morning. Will you let it change you? The tongue is a powerful creature, but we can control it with the power of Jesus! Let’s control our tongues, so they can’t control us!