Introduction
I have been pondering this article: Five Reasons Some Pastors Regret Quitting Their Churches. I have been thinking if I should share or what to say if I did. I think there are some important points here regarding pastors who look back and question whether they made the right decision to leave a church. Certainly, it is never wrong to look back in order to evaluate. The problem is many times an evaluation turns into “what if” or “if only.” The devil is oftentimes in the “what if’s” and “if only’s” of looking back. One can never rewrite history by looking back. Nevertheless, hindsight is 20 x 20 as they say, and some helpful lessons can be learned through looking back in the right manner.
Looking back is something pastors often do in evaluation; especially upon leaving a church. Some pastors choose to leave one ministry for another or to leave ministry altogether simply due to understandable or necessary reasons—family needs, new opportunities, acts of divine providence, etc. Sometimes, as is becoming more common in our world today, pastors have been put in a position to leave by powerful people in the church who want the pastor gone. Regardless of the reason, pastors oftentimes look back in wonder—”should I have left when I did? Could I have stayed longer? Was God leading me or was I caving under the pressure?” I think the article above highlights some of those items that pastors look to when questioning themselves and the Lord upon leaving a church.
I have asked myself these questions dozens, perhaps even hundreds of times over the past few months. “Could I have stayed longer? Should I have? Did I abandon my post or was God leading me away?” This is not the first pastoral transition I have had, and most likely will not be the last. My own pathway of transitions was not always easy; both times they were unexpected. I say that to mean that I was planning to stay longer but God clearly showed his hand of direction in both cases, albeit they were not always easy pathways. But sometimes, the devil still uses “what if” when I look back. I think the article above highlights the real inner turmoil pastors face when leaving a ministry. I resonate particularly with 3 of the items mentioned:
1) Recalling the joys and blessings of the former church
Even pastors who leave under difficult circumstances can look back to fruit and growth and see how God was working. I can do so in my own ministry. In my most recent transition, I can look back and see how we were able to accomplish many great things and move the church forward in many ways during the last year of ministry. We had a lot of positive momentum and excitement about what God was doing, and we were able to complete an 80k+ auditorium remodel. We had several new families who had begun coming to the church and were excited about things of the Lord. I also had the opportunity to meet with and mentor several men for discipleship. Those were sweet times and they are greatly missed!
2) The desire to preach
Upon leaving pulpit ministry, God graciously put me in a situation where I have had and still do have opportunities to fill the pulpit for pastors or to represent my employer, Central Seminary, in an official speaking capacity. I am thankful to the Lord for these opportunities and relish them. But this is not the same as preaching regularly or weekly, and I long for that! I long to be in the word, translating the text and assembling the truths of Scripture into a unified package that can help people know and love God. While I still do some of that, the desire to do it more regularly still remains.
3) Feeling of “lostness”
Finally, and most significantly, I resonate with the overall feeling of lostness felt by some men who are in between or have stepped out of ministry. It is a very unique position to be in when you were a pastor but currently are not. I have spent 10 years in Bible college and seminary training for God’s calling on my life, and 7 years fulfilling that calling, and now I find myself in a situation where I am not able to use my gifts and skills as I have in the past. Trying to get settled in a church and learn a new ministry is incredibly difficult for a man who used to lead one. In many ways, I feel lost in the crowd, unsure of how to fit in. I feel awkward and out of place taking a new member’s class at our church when I used to be the one who led such a class while pastoring. Or trying to figure out how to use my spiritual gifts to serve the church when that issue was pretty clear-cut as a pastor. In my own life, this has been a growing experience. God has been teaching me how to not find my identity in being a pastor but to find my identity in Christ. It can be so easy to live life in “pastor mode!”
Final Thoughts
To put it all together, I resonated with a lot of what the above article had to say. Given that, I think a real ministry can be done in churches to former pastors who have stepped out of ministry or are in between ministries. Oftentimes, they feel awkward and out of place. They want to be used by God to serve the church but do not want to step on the toes of their pastor. Chances are, you have these men in your church. I had multiple former pastors or missionaries in the congregations where I served. I endeavored to minister and invest in them strategically. I respected their office and experience by allowing them to preach and teach if they were able. I invested in them financially, using our benevolence fund to ensure their physical needs were met. I took on the role of servant and helped them physically, from taking apart a dryer that needed to be fixed to shoveling snow off their roof. Many of them became good friends; a few of them turned against me. But as I have heard it said before: “hurting people hurt people.” I wonder if some of the most hurting people in a congregation are those former men and women who were in ministry. Some have retired from a successful life of ministry, but they still bear the scars. Some have left the ministry early due to pain and heartache. Some are simply between ministries and hope to resume one day. Take time to see them. Some have left their church body and support structure behind when they left their church—even a pastor who leaves for a new church has to experience the learning curve of a new church and new people, and “outsider syndrome” can be a real struggle. If you have these men in your church, do not overlook them! Take time to care for them and invest in their families. Most importantly, recognize the burden they bear and the internal conflict many feel as they look back while following God’s plan moving forward!
