Introduction

We are continuing our discussion on discipleship.  We have been talking about various ways that we can be involved in discipleship.  Today I would like to talk about the importance of understanding your role as someone who makes disciples.  Many times when we attempt to make an investment in the life of another, we can easily become discouraged.  We may truly love the person we are investing in and we want them to make Christ honoring choices.  But sometimes they simply do not!  This can lead us to try to force or coerce change on people who are not yet ready for change.  We must remember the difference between influence and coercion!  How might we differentiate these two?

Characteristics of coercive discipleship:   

• Coercive discipleship seeks to force heart change on people prematurely.  Coercive discipleship attempts to force people to change and “make things happen” in another person’s spiritual life without them being ready to take that next step.  You cannot force next steps on another person!

• Coercive discipleship is all about results.  Sometimes when you focus on results in a discipleship relationship you lose the relationship.  The person you are investing in then becomes a “project” that you are working on, and this can easily lead to difficulty in the relationship.

• Coercive discipleship attempts to play God.  As much as we want to, we cannot force anyone to change; change is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit.

• Coercive discipleship leads to legalism.  When we try to make people fit our mold without their hearts being in tune, this creates legalism.  Instead of trusting the work of Christ on the cross, now we trust human effort and manmade regulations.  This in turn produces robots, not disciples.

Characteristics of influential discipleship:

• Influential discipleship models patience.  Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit.  When we stop trying to force someone to fit our mold of spirituality and patiently wait for God to work, we model this quality in our life.

• Influential discipleship trusts God.  When you focus on influencing people and not trying to change them, you focus instead on the power of God and His Spirit.  Only these have the power to change hearts!

• Influential discipleship emphasizes the power of Scripture.  I am not saying that those who want to coerce someone into taking the next steps in their spiritual walk do not emphasize Scripture, but not to the same degree.  When we patiently wait on the sovereignty of God to change hearts we get to see firsthand the power of Scripture.  We come face to face with the reality of the power of God’s Word when we patiently teach people the truth and watch God use it in their lives to make them more like Him.

• Influential discipleship builds relationships.  When we opt to view someone as an image bearer of Jesus, and not our next project to improve upon, we build a strong relationship with them.  When we accept our fellow believers for who they are and not who we want them to be, we create a unique bond with them that only increases our impact in their life.

• Influential discipleship follows the model of Jesus.  Jesus did not force change; rather He simply modeled what He wanted people to be.  In John 3 we see Jesus washing the feet of His disciples.  He did not force them to do what He wanted them to do, rather He simply showed them how with His life.

Final Thoughts

These are some key differences between coercive discipleship and influential discipleship.  I hope you will see that the influential model has far more value than the coercive one.  God does not call us to change people, but He does call us to make an impact by modeling the lifestyle He wants us to live.  I hope that you will focus your time and your relationships on influencing those around you with a godly example and that you will demonstrate patience in waiting for people to grow in God’s timing!